I put our Passover Seder together in a hurry last weekend* because we were on a college campus for most of it, attending an accepted students’ weekend for our son.

Our autistic son.

I don’t talk about my kids much online, because they’re entitled to their privacy. But certain newspapers and public figures recently seem intent on suggesting (again) that ADHD is overdiagnosed and overmedicated and (again) that autism is a horrible thing and autistic people are somehow a burden on the rest of society.

That would be news to my older kid (autism/ADHD), the Eagle Scout who got into both of the colleges he applied to, and my younger kid (ADHD), the artist/writer/drummer who’s more creatively accomplished than I was at his age.

And me (ADHD). Fun fact: Parents can and do realize their own diagnoses after their kids are diagnosed. Neurodiversity is genetic and frequently runs in families.

So here are some rebuttals.

ADHD was never just something that affected kids. ADHD medication should not be prescribed to improve kids’ grades but instead to help calm the chaos in their heads. The people who think the point of treating someone with ADHD is to “fix” them must not have much experience with ADHD. And if parents of neurodivergent kids—or older adults—are still, now, discovering their diagnoses, then maybe it isn’t being overdiagnosed.

Autistic kids have every right to be themselves, whether that means they don’t talk at all or they talk your ear off about video games (like, say, my kid). They are not an object of pity. They are people. They can live, work, and write poetry just like anyone else. My observation: The rigidity that goes along with autism can translate into deep honesty and a rock-solid moral code, which frankly I prefer to the situational ethics of other people.

My kids and I like to play the “neurodivergent-coded” game with a lot of the shows we watch. Luz from “The Owl House”? ADHD. Percy Jackson? ADHD (though that’s not coded—he says so in the books). Entrapta from the “She-Ra” reboot? Autistic. Same with Tech from “The Bad Batch” and (probably) Laios from “Delicious in Dungeon,” and yes we do watch a lot of animated series, why do you ask.

There are Sherlock Holmes fans who would contend he has either ADHD or autism—I’m thinking more ADHD but you could make a case either way (or for both). My personal headcanon about “A Wrinkle in Time” is that Meg has ADHD and Charles Wallace is autistic, and not a single adaptation of that book is ever going to work unless their neurodiversity is addressed more effectively.

Why play this game? Because it’s incredibly validating to see characters like you be the heroes of the story. Especially when public figures think you’re not worth anything.

But hey, they’re entitled to their (wrong and deeply hurtful) opinion. I’ll be over here planning my kid’s graduation party and his Eagle Scout Court of Honor.

Happy Easter, Happy Rest-of-Passover.

* Slightly off-topic: Can people who schedule events and makers of calendars keep in mind that Jewish holidays start at sundown? For example, Passover began last Saturday night, not last Sunday, so holding an event during the day on Saturday did in fact cut into our holiday time. We made it work, but we deal with this sort of thing every year. If you wouldn’t schedule an event on Good Friday or Christmas Eve, maybe don’t schedule one the day of Passover either. Or Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur, or Sukkot, etc. Please and thank you.